Reflecting on life in the desert

I'll never forget where I was when Paul called with the news that our new assignment letter arrived.  We had submitted our list of "choices" and were eagerly waiting to hear what location held new adventures for our growing family.  I was in WalMart.  My phone rang in the diaper aisle. 

"The letter came....should I open it now?". 

I couldn't decide....did I really want to learn the fate of my future in WalMart? I could tell Paul was eager to know. He was willing to wait for me to get home but I could hear that he would rather not. 

Deep breathe: "OK...let's open it now". 

I push the cart out of the diaper section and make my way to the cleaning supplies while he opens the envelope.  He begins reading with nervous excitement:

"OK, looks like we are moving to....." (noticeably long pause)

"El Paso?" (spoken with forced enthusiasm). 

Hmmmm not so much our first choice.  Let's be honest, it wasn't even our 4th choice....Nope it was #5 on the list.  El Paso, TX land of sand, scorpions, and scorching sun.  Really?! We slowly digest the news - both silently glad the letter was opened in WalMart where shocked faces remain hidden from the other.  Yes, God even works the timing of open letters for good!

It is true that I did not look back when we left El Paso.  After five years, I was ready to be out of the desert.  Both the real physical desert and the metaphorical desert that El Paso had become.  I longed for green.  It took a few months of living in San Antonio for me not to gasp while driving..."Look at the GREEN....look at all the TREES!".  But my kids, who have really known nothing else, get lonesome.  OK...so do I.  Not so much lonesome for El Paso but lonesome for that sweet fellowship with God in the desert dry.  There is nothing like a desert to help one appreciate the Stream.  Though the location was dry God flowed like a river.  We drank and drank and He quenched and quenched.  And I will forever be grateful for my time in the desert dry because it was there that I learned to drink.

As part of  the New Year, I've joined a dare to live fully right where I am.  To mark a list of 1000 ways I am Thankful and beyond.  To form the habit of giving Thanks for moments because All is Grace.  Join the dare: 



#31-39
kids waving on front porch
quiet trip to post office
eaten spinach
phones
crawling and tirelessly exploring
2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th chances at patience!!!
messy kitchen - evidence we ate well
sweetly sleeping girls
deserts

It is ONE in the morning and while I should be sleeping…I am missing my husband.


He is spending a long weekend in the Bahamas celebrating the marriage of his younger sister Rachel. We wish we all could have gone to share in her beautiful day but it was just not logistically or financially possible. We are so excited for Rachel & Phil and very thankful that Paul could go and be with his family!

That being said….it was hard to let him go!! Our family is slowly processing the events of our life over the past year! Not understanding that daddy is only gone for a long weekend, the girls are asking what we are going to put in his care package and if they can mail daddy a letter. We have had very little opportunity to decompress the pressure cooker our lives were placed into one year ago. Writing about it has felt overwhelming as how does one adequately describe the journey that we have been on with words? Since I have received many requests to put my thoughts on paper (albeit virtual paper) regarding our deployment experience ~ I’ve decided that this bout of insomnia is as good a place to start as any….so, here goes:

Deployment. We always knew that it was looming on the horizon. We knew the closer Paul got to completing his Internal Medicine residency, the closer we were to the day that he would have to leave. But, knowing and walking are 2 very different things.
 How do families do this without a Savior?

Having lived through medical residency, I was no stranger to Paul being rather absent from our daily humdrum. If he wasn’t at the hospital, his nose was pressed into a book (and not for pleasure reading). Don’t get me wrong – the man was amazingly present considering that he was both saving lives and cramming his brain full of all sorts of medical facts and what not (look, that is about as technical as I can get seeing that the last real biology class I’ve had was freshman year of college). But family dinners with dad were more the exception than the rule and we can count on one hand how many date nights we were able to have over the last 4 years. It goes without saying that Paul is a wonderful husband and father!! Despite his crazy schedule, we created WONDERFUL memories together and took FULL advantage of the times off that Paul did have. None the less, it seemed that the past four years had prepared us (to some degree) for Paul being overseas. What I was not prepared for was the unbelievable broken heartedness that I experienced. My partner was gone and my heart was crushed. It was truly like experiencing a death without the actual death and yet there was always the ever looming possibility of word that your loved one would not return.

The walk with our Savior had taken a crazy turn and the road became unfamiliar. The path was steeper and full of twists & turns. And, while it seemed all light around us had been extinguished (as though we had entered some sort of crazy plopped-into-the-middle-of-your-life tunnel) the light on the path intensified so that we could see just enough for the day we were on.

The more we surrendered, the more we were carried...and thus the journey began.

“For we walk by faith and not by sight” 2 Corinthians 5:7

Two weeks after Paul left we received quite the surprise…I’m pretty sure my exact words were:

“you have GOT to be KIDDING me!”.

Of course, sitting on this end of things, I can’t imagine life without our sweet bundle of joy! But at the time, solo parenting 3 little girls age 5 and under seemed a mountainous task enough and the thought of doing it while pregnant just took the wind right out of my sails! Sweet Paul sent me flowers upon hearing the news and gently reminded me that “every good and perfect gift comes from above” (James 1:17).

God does indeed desire for us the very best and this was news of a blessing!! At this point, I would love to leave you with the impression that my response was an immediate “yes and Amen!” but truth must be told and the truth is: well, it took a little bit longer for me to adjust to the shock. When Paul and I first learned of his deployment, God placed the following verse upon our hearts:
“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16).
Little did I know He would be testing my heart’s response to this verse so soon!

Looking back, I am humbled and once again awe struck at our Amazing Heavenly Father. I’m not sure I could have survived deployment without that pregnancy. God knew a growing little one inside would keep me going while Paul was gone. Once again, I was reminded that His ways are perfect and His plans are far better than ours.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9.

I’ll leave here as the insomnia is wearing off and I’ve certainly written more than enough for one blog post. The beautiful thing about blogging is that you can post snippets of thought trails and return to them later on or not at all. As I am able, I will pick up and post on this topic again. For now, I’m off to Dreamland!

The Captain Is Home!!!!

Hello Everyone!!

Yesterday afternoon at 2:00 pm we welcomed the Captain back home with loving arms! God once again worked the impossible and granted record travel time from each checkpoint to checkpoint. What a blessing as it meant we got to welcome the captain a good week sooner than anticipated!

Here are some pictures from our reunion:

Getting Ready for Captain to arrive

The Captain Arrives!!

Three Little Girls have LOTS to talk about at once!!More Hugs.....

One last shot in baggage claim before heading to the car!!

We'll give more updates later....in the meantime...we are enjoying some much needed family time!!

Love to you all!!

Prayer Request & Update

Hi Everyone -

I chatted with the Captain this morning and he has a specific prayer request: Things are really heating up in Iraq due to the upcoming elections (to be held March 7). Please say some extra prayers for the safety of our soldiers and for a peaceful election process. There is already much evidence of unhappiness and unease surrounding these elections. Additionally, we request special prayer covering over the Captain for Wednesday as he will be traveling out and about.

On a lighter note....A replacement for the Captain has been identified!! We are hopeful that he will be home in time for the birth of baby #4 (late May). Please pray that training, travel and transition time for the new replacement all goes smoothly so that we can indeed get the Captain home on schedule!

The Captain very much continues to see the Lord's hand at work among the soldiers and at the Battalion Aid Station in particular. Many times we've seen evidence of the Captain being placed in the right place at the right time so the skills and training he has been blessed with can aid and assist those in need. What a Mighty God we serve!

The time is drawing to a close for the girls and I in Minnesota. What sweet food to my soul this time has been!!! While I've relished in my time here, I'm sensing that it is time to "let go of the ropes and get back in the fight" (to use a boxing analogy). How wonderful it has been to be back with family & friends. An extra special thanks goes to my parents for so selflessly opening their home (without complaint) to an active bunch of kids & a rather pregnant daughter! I'm so thrilled the girls have gotten to experience a Minnesota winter and all its splendor. What wonderful memories we've made & fun times we've had. All that said, we are all lonesome for our home and eager to begin the next chapter! We've made contact with a realtor and will head back within the next week to get the house on the market and begin steps towards moving and saying good-bye.

As always - we so appreciate your prayers, wonderful words of encouragement and friendship!! Thank you!

Remember when we danced?

Sometimes it is just nice to look back and remember when we danced! The girls sure have enjoyed looking at these videos and we thought you might too! WE MISS YOU CAPTAIN!!!

Happy February - An Overdue Update!!

Hi All -

Well, I have fallen off the world of blogging for a while but I'm back!! What with Christmas, a massive cold (including pink eye & double ear infections) and travelling to visit family...I have admittedly let things slip!!

Where to begin?! Let's start with some news on the Captain! Life, thankfully, has remained rather 'status quo' as he continues to look after and care for the servicemen within his Battalion. The unit has experienced 2 more non-combat related deaths since my last post and as always there continue to remain various "stressors" in the lives of these soldiers. Please continue to pray for their physical, mental and emotional health.

One major praise is that the Captain now has an Internet connection in his room. This means that he has been able to communicate with us much more easily and frequently AND has been able to Skype!! What a difference it makes for us to see him and for him to be able to see his girls!!

Speaking of the girls ~ please lift up some special prayers for our little ducklings as the deployment separation is starting to take its toll on them (and their mom). While it is hard to be separated and not in our own home, it is SUCH a blessing to be living closer to family!! How wonderful it has been to have their loving support!

And now....onto some additional big news......
Prior to the Captain's deployment, he submitted an application for an Army fellowship/residency in dermatology. Since he is already board certified in Internal Medicine, we figured it would be a "long shot" but none the less it was something the Captain still felt called to pursue. The Captain was able to do phone interviews with the 2 program directors while in Kuwait and they were pleased with his application but also reminded him that it was rare for the Army to allow for a second residency. Shortly before Christmas, we got news that the Captain was accepted into the dermatology program in San Antonio. The extra good news here is that they are willing to allow him early release from his deployment so that he can start the program in June. Our hope is that he will be able to be out of Iraq by May. Please pray over this as "being willing" to release early and actually "releasing early" are 2 very different things.

Needless to say, the girls and I have lots of leg work to accomplish prior to the Captain's return!! I plan to fly down to El Paso in late February to get our house on the market while the ducklings stay back in MN with my parents. When we know more from the Captain, the girls and I can then drive down to pack up the house and prepare for a move to San Antonio. If all goes well, the Captain will be home in time for the birth of the baby and we'll have just enough time to sell the house, pack things up and move. (Of course, there is LOTS of contingency planning).

What a whirlwind!! The Captain and I have no doubt that this is God designed. What an Awesome God we serve and what a blessing that we can be together as a family much sooner than expected!! Psalm 66:12 says: "...we went through fire and through water but You brought us out to rich fulfillment". The separation of deployment and all the heartache that goes along with it have certainly caused us to lean on our faith. But God is so faithful and He has not only sustained us during this time but He will continue to sustain us and He doesn't even stop there! He not only brings us through the fire and water of our separation but He gives abundantly much more than we could ever ask or imagine. To Him be all praise - what a mighty God we serve!!

Have you had enough updates yet?? Because there is just one more bit of news we should share......
We had our ultrasound and doctors are 90% certain that we are blessed with another sweet little baby girl! Apparently, we are just talented at beating the gender odds! Tee Hee!! We are all very excited and can't wait to meet this special little bundle of joy! I am now over halfway through the pregnancy and feeling good but very tired.

Phew - that was a lot to cram into one blog post! I'll try to post more frequently so we can avoid all these updates at once :-) Blessings to you all and thanks so much for your prayers!

Praise Report & Prayer Requests

"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear." Isaiah 65:24

PRAISE REPORT:
Once again we need to share how God is truly taking care of these soldiers and answering our many prayers. The Captain went out on a 10-vehicle convoy to reach the more remotely stationed soldiers in order to administer medical treatment and give H1N1 vaccines. Their convoy experienced a full day of safe travel and when one vehicle got stuck (normally a 2 hour procedure to free it) they were able to pull it free in 20 minutes!! To God be all the Glory!! He continues to demonstrate His goodness in all things!

"I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone - for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness"
1 Timothy 2:1-2
PRAYER REQUESTS:

• This goes without saying - but please continue to pray for the safety of the Captain and his unit.
• Please continue to pray for wisdom for the Captain as he treats his soldiers for a WIDE array of problems.
• Please do pray for the morale of the troops!! We need to cover these soldiers in prayer for peace of mind and mental stability. There is REAL evidence of mental breakdown among the troops. Pray that the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
• We ask that you specifically pray for the family of Private First Class Michael Rogers who was lost in a non-combat related incident. Also, please cover Medic Beam in prayer as he is having a challenging time.

Package Clarification

So, I have learned my lesson on posting after midnight as clearly, my brain is not functioning at full capacity. My P.S. post regarding packages caused much confusion so please allow me to clarify:

1. Personal packages, letters, and e-mails can and should be sent to the Captain at anytime. He gladly welcomes hearing from you!! Please do let me know if you need his address.

2. We have had many groups of people and organizations ask about sending bulk supplies (e.g. socks, dental stuff, personal hygiene supplies) to the Captain's unit. After talking to the Captain and his Sergeant, they determined that it would be better to hold off on these bulk shipments until February as they already have a surplus of things and they hope to have a better assessment of their needs by then. (This is what I was referring to in my P.S. post).

SO sorry for the confusion!! I've learned my lesson on late night posts.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!

P.S.

ACK!! I forgot to mention....Care Packages!!


Many of you have been asking about care packages for the Captain and his unit. With the approach of Christmas, there are actually many groups and organizations that are remembering soldiers and sending them supplies. The Captain's unit has actually had to send packages and supplies on to other outposts as they have an over abundance of things. As such, we are holding off on a care package campaign until around February.

That being said - please DO continue to e-mail and send letters to the Captain!!


If you need EITHER of these addresses, please shoot me an e-mail and I will be happy to provide. :-)

Update and more prayer requests for The Captain

Life continues to be an adventure for our sweet Captain! Here's an update:

Praise Report
We are so thankful for the following blessings and answered prayers:

• The Captain arrived safely at his Outpost location.
• After a very sandy/dirty start, the aid station is cleaned up, freshly painted and ready to serve soldiers.
• The porta-potties that were in such TERRIBLE condition have been yanked out and replaced with NEW porta-potties and the Captain said they are "so much better!!".
• The PX at the outpost has been setup and stocked and has a much improved selection of basic necessities that the Captain had been missing (ie toilet paper, wet wipes etc....).

Prayer Requests

• Please continue to pray for the leaders of the unit. Pray for wisdom as they plan their missions and strength to lead with integrity and compassion.
• The water purification system at the outpost is currently only able to function at 25% capacity. As a result, they have restrictions on water use for showers etc...Fortunately, the unit has bottled water brought in for drinking but please pray that they can repair the purification system.
• The outpost is currently experiencing quite the rat and mouse infestation problem. The Captain says the rats are larger than squirrels!! The latest plan is to bring in a large number of cats to help keep the rodent population down. Please pray this works!! So far, the Captain hasn't had any mice/rats in his living quarters but they have had mice in the aid station.
• After a rainy night, the Captain discovered that the roof for his room leaks. Fortunately, the leak is not over his bed but it did mean that he woke to a rather large puddle in the middle of his room.
• Please continue to pray for wisdom for the Captain as he treats his patients. Many of the soldiers have been coming in with sleep issues ~ often they just want medication so that they can sleep at night. The Captain has had some wonderful opportunities to share his faith and witness Christ to these young men. Please pray these soldiers seek Christ for peace & healing for their many sleep issues rather than rely as they have upon drugs. Pray also that the Captain has increased opportunities to witness his faith.

Mama Duck and the little ducks 3

• PRAISE for safe travels north
• PRAY for ease of replacing Mama Ducks identity (both military ID and driver's license). Pray that she not have to return home to accomplish this. Also, please pray they are spared from identity theft.
• PRAISE for sweet baby duck on the way and PRAY for smooth, healthy pregnancy
• PRAY for the little ducks as they are really missing their daddy!!

As always, we so appreciate all your prayers, encouragement and support!

What a blessing you are!!

This family of ducks flew north for the winter!

Hi Everyone -

We've been a bit delayed in posting any updates as life has gotten rather crazy these past few weeks. So, let's bring you all up to speed:

Amidst the Captain's deploying, we had a surprise discovery that another baby duckling is on the way!! Due date = May 25. With this new found development and Mama Duck not feeling 100%, we decided to head north to be surrounded by the love, support, and encouragement of our families and close friends.

Nana Duck came down for a week and helped get the house in order and things packed up. We locked everything up and tackled the unbelievable amount of paperwork to accomplish for the temporary change in location. We hit obstacles the whole way and had a rather harrowing 3 day drive across country. The final blow was that on the last day of our travels, Mama Duck lost her wallet (aka lifeline to all things financial and health related). Needless to say, there was more phone calling and paperwork to do once we arrived north.

But here we are and it sure does feel good to be back in familiar surroundings!! The girls have had a BLAST playing outside and crunching in leaves and Mama Duck sure appreciates having some extra helping hands.

Here are a few photos:

Thanks & Encouragement!

"On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."
- 2 Corinthians 1:10-11

Words cannot express enough how very much our family appreciates your faithful prayers for the Captain. We wanted to share a quick testimony to one of the many ways those prayers are being answered. Clearly, the favor of God is shining upon the Captain as he walks on this journey. The Captain writes:

"I have been really blessed in my travels thus far. You will remember me telling you of people that were held over for 4 days at the departure point before leaving. Much of our party left early in the morning and I left at 1930 at night. We got to the departure point, and the party that had left our camp 12 hours earlier were just getting on buses to go to their plane. About an hour later, the buses brought them back because their plane did not arrive. Shortly after that, we were picked up on our buses and brought right to our plane and flew out without any delay. The original party did not fly until 24 hours later. So, I have had good travel so far, and am sure that it will continue. All praise goes to Him who holds me close!!"

Indeed! All praise goes to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! For His mercies are new every morning - so great is His faithfulness!!

Prayer Requests for the Captain

Hi Everyone -

Just wanted to give you an update on our Captain. He is in his final country of destination and will be traveling these next few days to his remote outpost. Please pray for safe travels and that setup at the outpost goes smoothly. While his access to communication may be limited this week, we are hopeful that his phone and internet access will be more steady at his outpost.

The Captain's specific prayer requests are as follows:

• Health for the soldiers - many of them have been quarantined with H1N1 and other strange viruses.
• Wisdom: pray that the Lord gives him wisdom as he attempts to setup a care facility and care for troops with limited supplies and technology
• Wisdom & Strength for the leadership: please pray for the leaders of the unit. Give them wisdom as they plan their missions and give them strength to lead with integrity and compassion.
• Safety: As always, please continue to pray for the safety of the Captain and his fellow troops as they complete their assignment.

We will keep you updated as we can! Thanks so much for all your prayers, they mean the world to our family.

A Gift

The alarm clocks were set and ready to go off at 5:30 am. The Captain and I stumbled into bed at 2:30 am after a day filled with trying to just get life in order.

The day began with a frustrating 2 hour visit at the JAG office. After days of compiling paperwork and legal documents to prepare for deployment, it just seemed like cruel and unusual punishment to have to hash through it all again on our last day together. The remainder of the day was filled with more paperwork, packing and laundering the Captain’s gear and other tasks too numerous to mention to get our house in order.

Before we knew it, the alarms were sounding. It was time to get up and take the steps we had been dreading – it was time to start our good-byes. We quickly got dressed and ready and woke each little duck. We gave them their ‘Daddy Dolls’ (see picture). Each little duck has their own doll with a recorded message from the Captain. We piled into the car and headed for the airport. We had decided in advance to just say our goodbyes at ticketing and head home rather than hang around at the airport. After a tearful farewell it was a lonely drive back to our house.

About 2 blocks from home, my cell phone rings – it is the Captain.

Our conversation goes something like this:

CAPTAIN: “They didn’t pay for my ticket”
MAMA DUCK: “You don’t have a ticket?!?!”
CAPTAIN: “My orders didn’t come through correctly and so they booked the ticket but didn’t pay for it. I’m on the phone now trying to straighten everything out but why don’t you come back to the airport because I’m going to be here for a while”

I had NO IDEA our car could turn around so quickly. We tore back to the airport eager to spend just a little more time with our precious Captain.

**NOTE: I share this next part for the benefit of my family as it is just another testimony to how wonderful Ames IA can be. Sitting next to the Captain’s gear was a young man covered in Cyclone wear. I couldn’t help but ask: “Are you from Ames?”. He broke into a huge grin and shared that indeed he was. Well, we had to just take his picture. Of course, I asked if he knew any of my relatives and sadly, he did not.

The Captain got off the phone and it was clear that they were not going to be able to re-ticket him until the next day. There it was. We had been given a gift! The gift of another day together as a family that was free from the stress of packing or tying up loose ends! Indeed “every good and perfect gift comes from above!”. Isn't our God wonderful?! (Also...kind Ames IA boy helped carry the Captain's gear out to our car and thanked the Captain for his service!!).

So, what does one do with a free day?
We sang praises of thanksgiving the whole car ride back home.
We enjoyed a family breakfast together.
We crawled back in bed for a little more sleep.
We took the kids swimming together.
We had a root beer float in the middle of the afternoon just because we could.
We enjoyed time out at the dollar theatre, followed by dinner, a trip to the book store and we enjoyed another night to tuck the kids in as a couple.

What a delicious day and a delicious gift. Now, our alarms are set once again for 5:30 am so that we can get the Captain to the airport on time for his flight tomorrow morning.